Grief ( Holiday Edition )

 When you lose a loved one whether it be a parent, a pet or just about anyone no one can really prepare you for how to grieve because everyone’s journey with grief is so different. Some grieve longer than others but grief is something that is always going to be with us and everyone handles it differently. During the holidays can be especially tough no matter how long it has been since they have been gone. For me personally this is my second Christmas without my grandfather and I will be honest it’s harder this year than it was my first. I think it just had not been long enough to truly hit me. I also was so numb from the pain that I didn’t know but this year has hit me so hard. It’s very difficult seeing a Christmas card from my grandmother and not seeing his name on it. It’s so hard to shop and see something that I know he would absolutely love but not be able to buy it for him. As I see gifts under my tree I just can’t help but be heartbroken that there is none for him under there. I know that he has more than anything anyone could ever want where he is but I cannot help how I feel. It’s truly a struggle because sometimes people tend to say things that in a way make you feel guilty for wanting your loved ones back with you. I feel some people intentionally try to make you feel that way but then there are some that don’t mean to make you feel like that. Many people who have lost loved ones are able to move on quicker than others and I am truly happy some people are but unfortunately I am not one of those. This happens to be the first Christmas without my dog Camille who I unfortunately lost back in April. We had her for fourteen wonderful but not nearly enough long years. I still have two other amazing fur babies who are my world. I found it quite difficult to hang their stockings and also shop for Christmas presents for them. When I was searching for toys for them I kept looking for her and found so many things so it hurt when I realized I didn’t need to get her anything. I found a song awhile back and it’s called For Those Who Can’t Be Here by Tom Walker. I have listened to that quite a bit. The whole song is so sweet but kinda sad. There is a lyric in it where he says ‘’ Still, I know this pictures not quite right ‘’. That line always gets me because it’s so very true, it’s not right at all. I wish my grandfather were here to celebrate Christmas with me along with my sweet Camille. If you have not heard the song yet I highly recommend you listen to it at least twice once. I really do shed tears for those who can’t be here. Please check on someone you know that may be struggling with grief this holiday season. 

Merry Christmas!

X,

MS